Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
