It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize