I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
