dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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