Can Purell be used as lube?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
