Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
