you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
