the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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