question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
