i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize