I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
