Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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