you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Semen is not good for contacts.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
