Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
