He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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