Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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