Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
