I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just pee around me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
