does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize