She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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