I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
