this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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