VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
