oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
