I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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