At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
