My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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