I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
