we have officially lost it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
