I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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