It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
