i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
