They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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