piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
