i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize