Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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