kristin has been a bad kristin
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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