would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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