I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
