Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My ass is underappreciated
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize