i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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