I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
