talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
