I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
