I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
