Someone shit on the floor
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
