We're facebook friends in real life
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
