Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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