its not stalking. its research.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
