mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
