I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
