FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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