sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
