I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
