Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
