i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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