I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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