Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
